That drunk Noah

Genesis 9:20-25 Noah, a man of the soil, proceeded to plant a vineyard. When he drank some of its wine, he became drunk and lay uncovered inside his tent. Ham, the father of Canaan, saw his father naked and told his two brothers outside. But Shem and Japheth took a garment and laid it across their shoulders; then they walked in backward and covered their fathers naked body. Their faces were turned so they would not see their father naked. When Noah awoke from his wine and found out Shem saw him naked he said, “Cursed be Canaan! The lowest of slaves will be to his brothers.”

So, there is one “righteous” person in the entire world that god sees fit to rescue from destruction. He gets hammered and passes out naked.

I mean, who wouldn’t want to get drunk after surviving a world wide flood on a boat with thousands of pairs of animals from all over the world. Having to live with all the stench and shoveling all the shit. Throwing it out that one window into the already dying salt water fish. Mopping up all the animal piss. Having to constantly keep the carnivores from eating the other animals…and yourself. Feeding all the animals.  All of this for over 150 days! I’d be stepping off the boat at the end and looking for my first drink too.

I can’t say I blame Noah much. And god must be cool with it because he still gives Noah the power to curse his son Hams descendants, the Canaans. God later orders the slaughter of the Canaan men, women, children and infants. All this from a drunken naked man and his son who looks in to check on his drunken old man. Maybe just to see if he’s ok. What gratitude.

One question I have is how did Noah already know that there was going to be people called Canaanites? Maybe I’m missing something.

Again, here we see that story of some supposedly godly dude who is willing to curse or kill one of his own children. Ask yourself, is there anything that your child could ever do to make you want to actually kill or curse them? I mean, he is the one passed out with his junk exposed. Could he not take some of the blame? Could he not just act like any normal person would and just be a bit embarrased and thats it? No…hes got to act like a kid and eventually cause even more pain, death and suffering. Another one for gods team.

I bet Shem and Japheth snuck a peek anyhow.


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