In my previous post (That Drunk Noah) I asked the question, how did Noah already know that there was going to be Canaanites? Well, the bible says that Noah had three sons, Shem, Japheth and Ham. These three according to the bible were directly responsible for re-populating the earth. Just believe it, don’t try to make sense of it. The bible says it.
Anyway, to answer my question, I suppose the only way that Noah could know is if the drunken naked incident happened decades after them getting off of the ark. And Hams son Canaan, (seemingly his youngest son) was already born.
Which leads to another question. Why the heck would you choose the youngest grandson to curse, just because his father saw you naked? Why curse the youngest son and therefore make a future enemy of the god you worship. Which later resulted in the death of thousands through war. Is it because he’s the youngest and the least in your eyes? If this is the case, how can anyone not see how morally wrong this is? To damn a son for something so silly that the father did, just seeing you naked.
I know the answer back from believers will probably be something like, “It was a different culture and seeing someone naked was disgraceful, yada yada.” I don’t buy it. It certainly doesn’t make what Noah did to Canaan right. Out of Noah’s own mouth does he create his enemy, the Canaanites. When he should have just kept his mouth shut and either learned to handle his drinking, kept his clothes on or covered his ass up. But as we see time and time again, the god of the bible and his minions live under their own moral code. And by god every one else better have higher standards or you will be cursed, stoned, beaten or just killed.
It seems like every “evil” in the bible is started by god or the people who claim to follow god. Who is more evil?
Genesis 9:20-25 Noah, a man of the soil, proceeded to plant a vineyard. When he drank some of its wine, he became drunk and lay uncovered inside his tent. Ham, the father of Canaan, saw his father naked and told his two brothers outside. But Shem and Japheth took a garment and laid it across their shoulders; then they walked in backward and covered their fathers naked body. Their faces were turned so they would not see their father naked. When Noah awoke from his wine and found out Shem saw him naked he said, “Cursed be Canaan! The lowest of slaves will be to his brothers.”
So, there is one “righteous” person in the entire world that god sees fit to rescue from destruction. He gets hammered and passes out naked.
I mean, who wouldn’t want to get drunk after surviving a world wide flood on a boat with thousands of pairs of animals from all over the world. Having to live with all the stench and shoveling all the shit. Throwing it out that one window into the already dying salt water fish. Mopping up all the animal piss. Having to constantly keep the carnivores from eating the other animals…and yourself. Feeding all the animals. All of this for over 150 days! I’d be stepping off the boat at the end and looking for my first drink too.
I can’t say I blame Noah much. And god must be cool with it because he still gives Noah the power to curse his son Hams descendants, the Canaans. God later orders the slaughter of the Canaan men, women, children and infants. All this from a drunken naked man and his son who looks in to check on his drunken old man. Maybe just to see if he’s ok. What gratitude.
One question I have is how did Noah already know that there was going to be people called Canaanites? Maybe I’m missing something.
Again, here we see that story of some supposedly godly dude who is willing to curse or kill one of his own children. Ask yourself, is there anything that your child could ever do to make you want to actually kill or curse them? I mean, he is the one passed out with his junk exposed. Could he not take some of the blame? Could he not just act like any normal person would and just be a bit embarrased and thats it? No…hes got to act like a kid and eventually cause even more pain, death and suffering. Another one for gods team.
I bet Shem and Japheth snuck a peek anyhow.